Reliving the most memorable day of my life : How I met my Wife

Most people who went the arranged marriage way have funny/awkward/scary stories from their "Meet the Bride/Groom" experiences...And today a chance meeting with friends reminded me of such a moment of mine...

I had arrived in Cochin city to meet the girl whose photo I had seen online. I went to my friends room and met my college mates whom I was seeing after a long time. I had already sent feelers to my friends asking if they were interested to accompany me on that day..But I had not expected all of them to turn up...and that's what happened : 12 guys turned up ! Better sense prevailed and I along with just 3 of my friends started to the girls house while the rest of the friends were told to go to some hangout and wait for us.

The fact that my close friends were with me made me feel very relaxed and the hour or so spent with the girl and her family was a pleasant experience . The girls lively attitude and calm yet quick witted interaction with me and with my friends bowled me over. Each of my friends interacted with a family member and this gave us some free time to talk to each other and get to know one another at least a little bit in that small interval of time.

Time flew by fast and we were out of her house and going away in the car. We called up the other guys and were surprised to find that they were waiting in a Toddy (local palm wine) shop just 2 kms from the girls house. The dozen of us spent around 5 hours in that toddy shop which was in a superb location near the water. Everyone commented that I was either really brave or stupid to have (a) Agreed to take friends along to meet the girl and parents , (b) Spent  the rest of the day at a famous Toddy shop barely 2 kms from the girls place. What would the girls parent think if they came to know that the prospective groom went straight to the toddy shop and spent the rest of the day there. Would they still believe the 'teetotaler' tag given by the groom to himself in his online profile ?

Lady luck was with me and no one from the girls side came to know where I spent the rest of the day. Talking with my friends that day @ Toddy shop confirmed that my selection was correct.They all had enjoyed talking to the girl and her family and were all happy for me.  So that day when the party ended and we were leaving the place, I was clear on my decision and gave the green signal from my side. The icing was hearing that she and her family too had given the green signal.

Today a chance meeting with my friends (a few of them had been with me on that day also) at the same Toddy Shop, reminded me of that day when I met my best friend and life partner - my wife...

                                               (click to see the enlarged version)

The Best Teacher in the world - KISKI Sir

It was during the 10th standard Board Exam season. Everyone from the newspaperman to the anxious parents to the school watchman (who actually wanted to lock the school grounds after we left) was saying the same thing : Its (Board Exams) the most important period in your life. If you toil hard now, you will reap its benefits for the rest of your life.

But for me it was a little different experience as I was suffering from Chicken pox, and by the sheer determination of my Mother , I had got a chance to write the Board Exams ( see a previous post for the whole story ). Although I was happy to have gotten the chance to write the exams, I felt sad and left out as during the study leave days while my friends were doing group study sessions and stress busting game sessions in between, I was stuck inside my house.

During this time someone came knocking on the front door one late night and my mom called out that someone was there to see me ! I was surprised and came out my room to see the smiling face of my tuition teacher Kiski (his pet name, real name Suresh Kumar). He sat with me and my family and spoke to us about how I was well prepared for the Exams already like all his students and the Chicken Pox at this stage of the Exams was a non issue. I told him that the condition given by the school was that I will enter the premises 15 min after the exam started and I will have to leave 15 min before the exam ended so that I don't mingle and infect other students.He told not to worry.  I don't remember what all we talked about that night but I remember that when he left we all felt a lot better, especially my parents.                    

When the results came, I found that I got 480/600 marks which was the distinction cut off. While my friends rejoiced / grumbled about the 520+ marks they got, I was thankful to God, my Parents, and especially to my Kiski Sir for filling me with confidence. The gentle soul also presented me with the best student of the year award at my tuition class that year and also extracted a promise from me that I will visit the tuition center frequently so that Sir could use my story to inspire other kids.Frankly I did nothing big at all and I felt very embarrassed when I heard my name being called (how I got down from the ladder during the presentation ceremony held on terrace of the tuition class, while wearing a dhoti for the first time, with many class mates standing below is yet another story).

I have seen many people in life who go with the tags of Teacher,Tutor,Master,Sir,Lecturer etc but I have seen very few who deserve the title of Teacher in its true meaning...And Suresh Sir was one of the those for sure !

                                                      (Image courtesy : http://thehindu.com )

The reason for this post is that today a friend shared a link that Suresh Sir got the national award for best teacher last year.

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-kerala/two-teachers-from-capital-in-national-award-glory/article4990937.ece

Now this News is the best New Year gift for his ever grateful student ! 

The only way you can 'teach' someone a lesson is by being kind

Munna bhai was right all along...The only way you can 'teach' someone a lesson is by being kind.

Scene 1 : I was driving and had come near a junction under a bridge which has traffic jams on most days. When there is a traffic jam, usually the traffic police guy allows two wheelers to cut the traffic island (one of pillars of the bridge) and move diagonally to the right instead of going around it. I had done this many times when the police were redirecting traffic like this...

So one day while returning from office , I saw the similar traffic block but no traffic police. So slowly I started to take the diagonal short cut. When I was mid way I saw a 40+ yr old traffic police man running at great speed towards me. Expecting the usual shouting and forceful taking of the key by him to collect the fine, I stopped on the road side. He came near by, a tad out of breath, and told me to take off my helmet and told "Even when we traffic guys tell you to take this short cut you should be very careful, please do not take this on your own." With that he left...I was surprised and embarrassed and have never taken that shortcut unless traffic police give the go ahead.

Scene 2 : I was taking a U turn on my bike and a car, 30 feet away, was slowly negotiating the speed breaker at the intersection. Since I had already turned to the right, I continue to take the U turn but the car speed up after the speed breaker and reached the same spot. Both braked hard with me hitting the front tire. Expecting the usual blame game and some kind of exaggerated damage assessment routine, I told him that lets move to the side and discuss as we were blocking traffic.

He told : "No issues, please drive safely..".

May be he knew he was at fault too , may be he was shaken with the sudden braking...But I like to think he was just a nice pleasant guy.

Needless to say turns are taken more carefully by me after that day, but more importantly I try to see fellow drivers also as someone like me , and try not to wear the most common crown we bestow to ourselves : I am a Above Average Driver !


So remember Munna Bhai and try to be nice to someone even if they are at fault. It will surely teach them a lesson they will never forget.   

King of the Jungle : Ntwadumela (n-twy-du-may-la)

When I was young and had just started watching the Discovery channel (back then there was no NGC or the Animal Planet) , the one thing that I hated was the very rare and almost nil availability of footage of my favorite animal - The Tiger. Try as i might I could never see it on TV. All I got to see was the Lion time and again on TV, and after seeing the sorry sad specimens in the local zoo, I had no admiration for the Lion. The primary school lunch break arguments of Lion Vs Tiger, Wolf Vs Tiger etc were fiercely fought over, and I never fought for the Lion. I always wondered why the hell was it called King of the jungle when the Tiger was so beautiful and graceful.

But all of this changed one day....the day I saw Ntwadumela (n-twy-du-may-la), He who greets with fire...

That 1 hr tv program (Lions and Hyena - Eternal Enemies) changed my whole idea of Lions, and made me a big fan...

A fairly simple search brought me to a small clipping of Ntwadumela. I know I saw it on a old TV long ago when HD was not heard of. But when I walk back in memory, I feel as if I saw Ntwadumela on a 72 inch screen in full HD.

See the below youtube clip and imagine seeing it on a 72 inch screen in HD with surround sound. And then ask yourself who is the King of the Jungle ?



I still get goose bumps when I view this superb combination of great footage, good background voice and music , slow motion effect,  and one great King of the Jungle -  Ntwadumela !

Alas all good things come to an end. The google search for this clip also brought me to an article that told that Ntwadumela was no more...

"Mandevu and Ntchwaidumela, like most ousted lions in Savuti, wandered northward from one territory to next, through a network of territories that eventually requires these older lions to cross a government-sanctioned hunting ground.

Trophy hunters killed both of the long-reigning lions, from the safety of vehicles, as they moved from one protected preserve to another in 1991."

"I know that wherever Ntchwaidumela’s skin hangs, on a wall somewhere in the U.S.A., perhaps, the new owners have no idea of the life that this lion lived. The daily heroics, the matings, the battles with elephants and buffalo, and, of course, his almost nightly vendettas against hyenas can never be seen on his fading skin." - Dereck Joubert, ‘Hunting with the Moon: The Lions of Savuti’

So the next time you see a old thin Lion in a zoo or circus (if they still have them), remember that he too is a brother of the majestic Ntwadumela - He who greets with Fire...He is the Hyena killer  

Our daughter - Elsa...born free



ELSA - BAPTISM

Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart

Live free and beauty surrounds you
The world still astounds you
Each time you look at a star

Stay free where no walls divide you
You're free as the roaring tide
So there's no need to hide

Born free and life is worth living
But only worth living
'Cause you're born free

This is one of the first Hollywood movie song that I understood fully due to the crystal clear words even though I was a kid. The name of the character of the lead actress was etched in my mind along with this song for ever. 

Many many years later, when my wife was pregnant, and we were seeing a news broadcast on yet another girl child being abused and neglected due to her gender, I commented that God should give a precious gift as a girl child to people who can take care of her to the fullest...who will give her every joy in the world, every gift that life has to offer, and the freedom to take any choice that she sees fit...she should be Born Free...

Later while discussing a suitable name for our little angel, my brother-in-law suggested this name in one of our numerous 'name storming' sessions, and immediately this song started playing in my mind...And I knew what would be the apt name for my child, the lead actress of the movie...a lioness named Elsa...Born free.

Now I will let Andy do the talking, or shall I say, the singing...

Tobacco : Kill the Image, and you will save Gen NeXt

World no tobacco day came and went...I wonder if google had a doodle to pass the message to the masses...Well when I think of the tobacco habit, many incidents come to my mind, and I will share a few.

1. After lunch, one of my team mates who is a smoker used to walk for 1 km in the hot Chennai sun (its more 'fun' as the walk is between concrete jungle on a tar road at noon time) since there were no shops near the IT park...many times he used to ask us 'Anyone coming' halfheartedly with a sheepish smile. Then with a bit of reluctance he will start the long hot walk.

2. I heard someone coughing in my hostel corridor one night...it was a friend learning to smoke...I asked him why he was trying so hard to learn...He told he wanted to see what it feels like and that he was so strong mentally that he could quit whenever he wanted to...In the years to come he got the nickname "Chimney" for obvious reasons...If you ask him eve n now, he smiles and says he still hasn't thought of quitting and the minute he does, he can stop without any problem ;)


3. On a dark chill night in Munnar, a guy was walking on a empty winding road to his hostel smoking a cigarette he had bought before starting the long climb up the hill to the hostel...Mid way, on a sharp turn, he ran straight into one of the most infamous Electronics Dept teachers of our college (Legend has it that a villan character in Sholay movie was named for him, albeit many years ago...good hindsight perhaps of the script writer that in future such a character will actually come to College of Engineering Munnar).

Well the guy panicked and threw away the cigarette. The teacher came close to him..

Teacher :  Why did you waste Rs 1.50 ?

Guy : (Doesn't know what to say...Then after a long pause) Sir...Actually the cost is Rs 2.50...

Teacher (without a pause) : Of course. But you have already smoked Rs1 worth of it :)...

(Another legend goes that the big rock overlooking our college, and which is split in the middle, was split when the rock laughed too much at one such infamous joke of this teacher)

4. Strong Image of Macho Man (Smoker) :A friend of mine is one of the best natured guys I have met in college.Never curses, never speaks ill of others, rarely gets angry, speaks to everyone with courtesy, doesn't drink, and never used to smoke...In college, with the beautiful hills of Munnar around us, road trips were a routine affair. And this friend used to smoke only on such trips because the image of the biker stopping after a long ride on a hill side, sitting quietly looking into the vast horizon and smoking was just too strong to ignore...Somehow cigarette made the pit stop feel complete. To my knowledge the guy still smokes noly on road trips and never at any other time...Thats how strong the image of smoking is I guess...

So kill the image, show displeasure when people smoke near you...even if they are close to you...and let the message sink in...

Rahul...Nam toh sunah hoga ?

As far as I can remember, I try my best not to get attached to stray animals...And the reason is simple : once we get attached, then we have to fulfill the responsibility of taking care of them, and living in a rented apartment where the house owner and/or the neighbors may not like having strays just complicates the matter. So when I first saw the old smelly stray dog which used to sleep on the terrace of our building, I did not give him a second look...he never seemed to expect any food from us, and was content to just sleep on the terrace whenever he felt like it.

One night, while sitting on the terrace and enjoying the cool wind, I broke my rule...The dog came up to me and stood near by my leg as I was talking on the phone , and by habit (I had 2 dogs back home), I started stroking the head of the dog. To my utter surprise it gave out a sound which can be at best described as a sad but content dog purr, albeit a few decibels more than any cat or dog I have seen, and the sound seemed to have a tinge of sadness in it ; perhaps at being ignored for so long.I am not trying to be dramatic here...you have to hear it to believe it. That sound touched me as I was surprised to know that a few strokes from my hand made such a difference to the dog. Well to make a long story short, I started to feed the dog once in a while.

By luck, couple of kids adopted him as their pet and named him Rahul. So I was relieved to know that he had got people to look after him. With his new found owners, Rahul seemed to get renewed energy, and the battle scarred veteran started reclaiming the street from other dogs. Somehow the bigger younger dogs seemed to respect Rahul who, due to age, did not even have a decent loud bark...rather it was a sharp yelp or howl.

The building in which Rahul's new young owners lived, also had my friends living in the ground floor. One weekend night, after our usual barbeque party by Anish, my friend, I started to walk back to my room which was half a kilometer away. The time was around 1.30am and being a cool night, I was planning to have a enjoyable walk back to the room on the quiet deserted by-lanes. As a reached the first corner, I noticed that Rahul was walking few feet behind me. As he had a new home and was always well fed, I knew he not looking for food...It seemed that he knew the time was late and wanted to escort me home. I continued walking through the lanes and Rahul trotted behind me, stopping by once in a while to smell something on the road, and when noticing that I had walked farther away, coming up fast to close the distance.

Now, as city dwellers, especially two wheeler riders know, at night each by-lane belongs to its own set of dog groups who bark or give mock charges to any one using the road at night time. So as expected, as me and rahul walked towards my home, many such groups of dogs came up barking towards us...Rahul seemed to completely ignore them and just kept walking behind me, never turing back to even look at the other dogs who barked or growled just inches from him, and I never had to shoo away any of the dogs away. Once I reached the gate of the building in which I lived, I saw Rahul trotting back to his home, content in knowing that I had reached my destination.

For your information, Rahul has even followed one of my friends into the Perungudi suburban train station, and actually boarded the train. Luckily my friend was able to shoo him away from the train quickly, as these trains stop only for a few seconds at each station.

Years have gone by, and recently I came back to live in the same lane by chance. And by surprise, Rahul, who was not seen in the area for a few months (as told anxiously to me by his young owners ), came out of nowhere and has started sleeping on our door mat at nights...as if continuing to watch over his old friends.

Mothers : The True Unsung Heroes In Our Lives

... It was a normal humid morning in March and the boy who had woken up early to study felt bit feverish...To make matters worse, the couple of boils on his face seen since yesterday were still there when he checked in the mirror. Since it was board exam time which is/was one of the most sacred periods in the Indian Education system, he and his parents decided to see the doctor as the boy had a exam that very afternoon.

The doctor after a quick look at boils smiled and told , "Nothing to worry, its just Chicken pox"...The boy remembered some time back when another doctor had told cheerfully "Nothing, just a hairline fracture" and thought "What was so good about Chicken pox and a hairline fracture ? Of course at that time he could not appreciate the fact that compared to the extreme cases of health issues seen by doctors everyday, such non-threatening aliments were 'normal'...

The boy returned home with his parents and the mood was somber to say the least. All 3 knew that he would not be allowed to write the board exams...Times were such that normal parents feared even over exposure to the sun would cause some performance reduction in their kids board exam. So there was no question of his being allowed to write the Exams as Chicken pox was top on the list of contagious diseases that would freak out parents of other kids taking the board exams. The boy's aunt who was a school teacher also confirmed that kids with such contagious diseases will not be allowed to write the Exam. Since there seemed no way out, the boy decided to get some sleep as there was nothing else to do and felt a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulder, what with the rigorous study schedule that he had to follow to keep up with others...He decided not to think too much about losing an academic year, as there was lots of time left for that.

But you know Mothers...they can never think bad about you or tolerate seeing anything happening to you.

So the boy's mother went out alone, took a auto-rickshaw and went to meet the School Principal. The Principal told that if the External Exam In-charge agreed to allow the boy to enter school premises, the school Principal would open a separate classroom in another wing of the school for the boy to write the Exam. Quick discussions followed, and to make a long story short the boy who was sleeping peacefully was woken up an hour before his Exam, to be told by a joyous Mother that "Wake up and get ready, you have a Board Exam in 30 mins".

So for the next few days the boy would reach the school after all the other students had entered into the exam halls and started writing their exam. He would then quietly enter the school premises and hurry to a building in one corner of the school. He would sit alone in a room with no invigilator, but just an elderly school peon sitting outside his room, who gave him extra exam sheets, water etc. The boy would hurry through the Exam knowing that he had to leave the school 15 min before the Exam time was officially over for others, so that no one saw him or came near him, thus minimize the risk of the Chicken pox spreading.

The boy could see his friends daily sitting far away in another block writing away with gusto , but he never felt bad that he was left out of his group, or that with his unique schedule, he was losing 30 min for each Exam. Heck even the 'discomfort' (to put it mildly) caused by having full blown attack of Chicken Pox didn't bother him much when compared to the other option of missing out an entire year. The thought of using unfair means never crossed his mind...Even if he bought all the textbooks and guides into the Exam room , no one would have found it out as he was always alone in an entire block during any of the Exams. For the record, the boy never shied away from copying in Exams before and after this period ;-)

He was just glad that he was able to write the Exams at all , thanks to his Mother.

The results came and everyone was running around with happiness of getting good scores but most of them also had a tinge of sadness in not getting even better scores... Of the maximum mark of 600, only something around 530 or upwards was considered worth mentioning.

The boy was very happy and content with his marks of 480/600...the exact marks required to get a distinction for his Board Exams !

Many years after the incident when looking back, he was surprised the tension caused by those board exams days, and wondered whether the world would really have fallen apart for him if he lost an year...And although he hears/reads about heroic deeds done by Mothers all around the world , be it running into a burning house to save a kid or fighting an alligator to save her child, just as her own kid is the most precious thing in this world to a Mother, to him his Mother is the best Mom in this world and this blog is a miniscule way of showing his love for her...

Dog Fighting and Modern day Hunting : Sports or plain Cruelty ?

I remember the first time I walked with my GreatDane around my home.I felt happy and content that I had at last got a dog of my own after years of waiting. But come to think of it now , it was never about 'I got the biggest meanest dog on the street' kind of thing. On the contrary, I used to walk my 2 GreatDanes during the 30min city scheduled electricity cuts, when even the street lights were off, as somehow I felt odd walking with 2 big dogs in the small suburban area where I lived, where people had hardly ever seen something as big as a GreatDane dog. Somehow I felt that walking with them during the day time or when people were walking in the streets was pompous in nature. But yes I did like it when the street dogs came running up for a challenge and then ran away when the saw the size of my dogs up close...It fed my ego and it felt good.

So when I heard about dog fighting back then, I always thought it was an awesome way to see which dog was the king of the street or something like that and wanted to know more about it but then the internet was still unknown to me. But I always thought there was nothing cruel in it because after all the dogs quickly give up in confrontations with hardly any bloodshed. But this weekend while watching videos randomly on Youtube I came across some real information about the world of Dog fighting. Especially about the Pit Bull...These dogs are breed to fight till the last breath by owners who say they 'love the dogs' but who also kill the dogs which give up in the fight, just to 'purify' future generations of fighting dogs from the weaker ones. Shocking was to discover that even 10 week old Pit bull pups are put in fights !

Hope this gets eradicated completely in US and all over the world in places like in Japan and Italy where its common. A 50 min documentary on this topic is shown below...Not for the faint of hearts...




And the price for this 'sport of game dogs' is paid by the kids who get mauled or killed by some fighting dogs that gets loose, and more so by the countless harmless pit bull pets which get banned or euthanized due to the stigma,fear and hatred associated with the breed.

Some facts about the dog Helen Keller had : http://www.dontbullymybreed.org/

A quick search on the internet will show up similar 'bloody sports' like bear baiting in South Carolina where hunting dogs are trained by having them attack a chained Bear whose teeth have been removed and the nails filed down so that the Bear has no defense against the batch after batch of dogs which attack the same Bear all day long to get their hunting training. And modern day hunting with packs of dogs, all terrain 4X4 vehicles and modern machine guns all going after a single scared Bear hiding up in a tree or a wild Hog running for his life is somehow not sporting.

Check out an old blog of mine on the old fashion way of hunting.

Maybe its all hypocrisy coming from a person who eats meat and chicken from animals mass produced like 'vegetables' but somehow I feel that the fun in any challenge is when the odds are at least evenly poised if not stacked up against you.

New joys, new challenges , old earthy smells : Ah New Year it is then...

For a third time I found myself traveling to Bangaluru for New Year celebrations...One of them was spend with close friends at a huge garden party organized by some residence association in which we all danced all night long (subsided booz @ 50Rs being the highlight with a close friend spending most of his time at the counter bribing the bar tenders to give him more)...Another New Year eve was spend enjoying the crowd atmosphere at Brigade road but felt sorry for the ladies who had decided to take the same walk or those who came out of the pubs at that moment.An example being a luxury car being escorted by the police through the crowd with a grim faced guy at the wheel and a crying lady alongside him...The window on her side shattered by "New Year well wishers"...I wish blank noise team chooses this as a venue on next New Years eve for their cause if they havent already

This time the weather was not too cold in Bangalore when compared to Chennai , where chilly mornings and rainy weekends are too frequent to be appreciated these days. If you have lived in Chennai, then you an understand this fully...Whether 2012 is coming or not, climate change is yawing at our faces, utterly bored to see that we are not reacting to it at all...

After a cold shower at 11.30 pm (yep in Bangaluru which I wouldn't have dared 2 years ago) and a quick homely dinner, me and wify dearest decided to enjoy the New Year fireworks and festivities from the cozy confines of the flat's terrace 3 stories high. All around us we could hear the load crackers which didn't seems too out of place given that Diwali had recently passed. The sky was getting lit by amazing fireworks and most of the buildings around us had groups of guys shouting New Year wishes...For a moment I wanted to run down and get my camera to capture the fireworks but somehow I got a feeling that this moment was to be enjoyed instead of being digitally captured to show off amateur photographic 'skills' in the social networks. So we touched our glasses of chilled soft drinks and shouted the New Year wishes and spent time soaking in the energy around us...

As an icing to the New Year cake, next day we saw a wonderful movie 'Marykkundoru Kunjadu' which I feel is funnier that last year's comedy hit 'Pranchiyettan'...In a period when Priyadarshan and co are killing classic mallu comedies by remaking them in Hindi with people like Akshay Kumar ( His first and last piece of natural acting being the blushing embarrassed face he had when Raveena danced in front of him in 'Tip Tip barsa pani' song ) who think making faces is 'act'-ing funny, it is refreshing to see Mollywood dishing out such good movies...And speaking of movies was very happy to see the selfless Munni triumphing over the narcissistic Sheela (based soley on the respective Song's lyrics)...

Hmmm let me stop before I jump yet again to some other unrelated thread...

So wishing you all the very best in enjoying and facing the stuff that the New Year throws at you, and may you enjoy each moment of the life ahead while the Earthy smells of the world keeping you in the state of Do good - Be good , 'cause after all, we are all in this together...

Back 2 school for the ultimate post graduation : The Roman Catholic Marriage

The bell rings sharply at 5AM in the campus on the cold mornings of September in a small town in Kerala...and worse still, it rings repeatedly in a stern shrill tone that commands due acknowledgment. The students get up with sleepy faces and look at each other wondering 'This can't be happening to me' , and then 5 seconds later are jolted back to reality only to join the race to occupy the limited bathrooms lest they have to stand in long queues.

By 5.45AM the 150 odd students are assembled inside the chapel (in military line formations strictly monitored by the nuns at all times) on the 4th floor for the morning prayer followed by the Holy Mass while the wardens go through the rooms just in case some naive soul decided to sleep a wee bit longer. After the mass, the students come down to the cafeteria for breakfast and are inside the class rooms by 8.45AM. The classes go on till 12 pm followed by a 45 min lunch break. People hide in corridors during break time speaking in hushed tones on their phones because mobile phones are banned in the campus till 10.30PM.Then more classes follow till 4 pm when groggy eyes light up for the much awaited 20 min Tea break...

The final sessions of the day last till 10PM.This is followed by the "introduce yourself" sessions till 10.30 pm so that people get to know the fellow students who are slogging along with them. Finally by 10.45 PM, everyone retires to their rooms (shared between 3 to 10 individuals depending on the room size) and the nuns lock up the iron grills that separate the boy's and girl's sides of the campus.The break times are not filled with loud voices or much movement and the air reeks with love in the 'campus' as most of the 'students' have come to the course in pairs and all break times are judiciously utilized to talk to their partners.The same cycle goes on for 3 days. (I heard fellow students at the Bangalore campus get away with a single day course...lucky rascals)

As you guessed from the title, the 'students' here are people who have decided to get married and have come to attend the mandatory 'pre-marital course', whose completion certificate is a must to get married in a Catholic church in India. For me, a person who had very limited time before the D day of my marriage, my parish priest bend the rules and conducted my marriage based on the promise that I will attend the 'pre-martial course' post marriage.

The first week after my marriage consisted of endless visits to the houses of close relatives as per the custom followed by a quick 2 day getaway to Munnar (where I came down fever, the gory details of which are coming up in a future post). Then just a week after my marriage, I was sitting inside a classroom of 150 students for 3 whole days learning what the Church expected me to have learned before I got married.

Now I went to this course with a biased mind.I had resolved before hand that I wont give ear to any the selling of religion or how 'our religion is the best' kind of stuff. But Boy was I wrong !

Those 3 days zipped by very fast, and contained well crafted sessions of various topics like

- Monetary budgeting after Marriage
- Work life balance
- Maintaining Family ties and the addition of your spouse to them
- Elaborate FAQs session on physical relations (it was a detailed and well handled fun session)
- Handling differences, respecting your spouse and accepting their quirks
- Past is past (dont ask or brag about old relationships)
- Abortion is not acceptable (the only session with pronounced religious bias)
- Chance to prepare for a proper confession (Christian belief that one's sins will be forgiven by God if one truly repents doing them, and will strive not to repeat them)
-Divorce is not an "option" (Divorce is not acceptable in our Church unless due to grave issues like mental illness, impotency etc )

My worst fears were left to rest as never did I feel that Christianity was being sold to me... instead it was explained how old customs help family life in the modern world. An example is how the habit of daily family prayer helps to break the ice during quarrels when the spouses are giving each other the cold shoulder. The classes are (predominantly) not taken by priests or nuns but by highly qualified doctors, psychiatrists, marriage counselors who know first hand about the common pit falls today's marriages could fall into.

The highlight for me was during the self introduction sessions when people introduced their would-be's to the whole class . Every couple who came to the stage stood 2 to 3 feet apart and then introduced each other with expected shyness as they were still not married. So I decided to spice things up by going there and then holding my wife in my arms to introduce her. Of course this joy was short lived as the organizers came rushing to separate us stressing that majority in the hall were unmarried and hence we should not be flaunting our marriage status.


All in all I had good time there with the celebrity status in campus bestowed on us due to the fact that we were already married but still came for the course while all others had come for that coveted course certificate. I am equally sure of the fact that that there was hardly anyone who wanted to attend the course in the first place if it was not mandatory as I am sure of the fact that in the end there was hardly anyone who felt the 3 days spent there were not useful for their future life.



In the end I have found new respect for the Church for the very fact that they take marriages so seriously and ensure that newly weds enter into it with the right mind set.

Las Vegas : Spectacular Bellagio fountains & Over hyped warm America Apple Pie

Man, i really like Vegas - Elvis Presley


...Tired from a week of hard work and followed by a 6 hour ride, i was walking half asleep at 1AM through Fremont street in Las Vegas trying to find the Subway outlet suggested by my '8 time Vegas veteran' friend. Suddenly the lights around me switched off , and just when i thought "So Vegas does sleep after all", 550000 watts of sound coupled with 12.5 million LED light display started 90 feet above me with a bang, as if to tell in pure Vegas style " Welcome to Vegas Honey"...

The following 2 days were spend doing the usually things in Las Vegas like going from Casinos to casinos, visiting the night clubs and walking up and down the strip. One gets reminded about the time only during early morning to noon when the city is bit calm and quiet as the people recuperate from the long nights. But then to those people who dont leave the Casinos, i don't think there is any sense of time is...especially the elderly people hogging the slot machines...

The highlights for me were

- Spending around 3 hours looking at the Bellagio fountains
- World buffet lunch at the Rio for which i stood around 1.5 hours in the Q to get in, and losing all appetite when i saw around 250 dishes...will do it again for sure...
- Traffic jam on the strip when the July 4 fireworks started at Caesar's Palace
- Seeing a famous night club filled with 60% of my brothers from India
- The girl at the club who told she made 3000$ that weekend by dancing
- The lady who took me to dinner at a country music place at Harrahs
- The old lady at the restaurant who gave a wonderful surprised smile when i came back from the exit to tip her 5$
- My friend who woke up at 1am daily to go out and gamble and came in morning only to sleep out the whole day...
- Seeing sunrise when we came out of a club and realizing that we were inside all night...
- and of course getting a chance to try the "Warm American Apple Pie" and finding it not living up to the hype that i had created for it myself in my mind...

I guess its accepted for even the most money wise people to lose money in Vegas...Somehow the money is not lost in vegas but rather spend enjoying life...

Someone famous summarized this,

"I did my time for the rape.
I paid my money to Las Vegas.
I paid my dues...." - Mike Tyson


Just know your limits, leave the credit cards in the Hotel room and even thought you have heard the famous guilt freeing phrase a thousand times 'What Happens in Vegas...Stays in Vegas', remember that certain things do come back from Vegas (remember the FIL's advice in Hangover ?) and am sure you will have a great time in Las Vegas...

Kiss...I mean Run...its an Earth Quake !

We friends decided to go shopping on Monday evening , probably owing to the inertia of the long weekend of partying in clubs and night hangouts. I was surprised to find many people at the shopping mall on a Monday and my wait outside the shops while my friend selected what to buy, was not too boring. So after a longggg wait for the friend who wanted to finalize 6 out of 15 T shirts he selected, we went to an outlet of California Pizza Kitchen (CPK) which is supposed to have great pizzas.

Half way through our Pizzas (i will give 6/10 to them), the whole place started shaking.This was the 2nd Earthquake i had felt so strong while the many others were just a jolt or two in office,wherein you just smile at the guy sitting next to you and continue with your work.

At first we felt the table shake, then the plates and glasses on the near by tables added to the clatter..Only the young doorman looked worried while I guess the 'experienced' Californians expected the shaking to stop pretty soon. Only one friend at our table was not feeling the quake while the rest of us were looking at the exit and waiting for a sign when we know its time to make a run for it. Once he also felt the shakes we all stood up in unison and made a run for the door. Being on the first floor of a big shopping mall made me uneasy as open ground was no where near.


5 seconds later we all were standing outside the restaurant, standing on the edge of the railings at the first floor balcony and looking at all directions to see if the shaking had stopped or not, as the quake was not strong anymore. We could still see the lamp posts in the parking lots shake and also felt the vibrations in the iron railings running through out the perimeter of the shopping mall. We were standing at a place overlooking the open center podium of the shopping mall, looking in all directions for signs of damage when a friend smiled and pointed out something in the center of the Shopping mall in the floor below...Slowly my eyes also found what he was pointing to...a couple holding each other tightly and sharing a passionate kiss at the center of the shopping mall floor, when the whole world was shaking around them...

It was not like in movies where in all the shopping mall started to clap and the couple suddenly broke away from the kiss only to look around sheepishly... In reality people just returned to their life and we returned to our Pizzas before they got cold, giving the couple their 'privacy' at the center of the shopping mall floor.

Sometimes Life is much more beautiful in its plain simplicity...


PS : The quake was put at 5.7 on the ricther scale and was an after shock of the Easter day quake of 7.2 magnitude. Click here for details on California's quakes.

Memorial Day : Remembering all Soldiers

Well for a change, Monday is a Holiday...Hurray !!!

The long weekend is about to come to an end with me having done absolutely nothing (and having had a blast doing it). Three days spend alone at home sometimes going to bed at 6 pm, waking up and eating dinner at 3am, watching movies till morning, listening to songs (and shamelessly trying to sing along out loud), going to the gym at noon, all without ever considering what the clock showed. Its been a really long time since i spend so much time alone without ever having to consider the clock, and I have made a promise to myself to do this once in a while...

Last night i was watching Twilight movie, and just as i saw the new town with the dull sky and big trees, i got reminded of seeing such a town in my all time favorite movie - First Blood.

Immediately, i stopped seeing Twilight and went for First blood.




The opening sequence reminded me when i had come to San Diego early this year, and used to walk to my room back from office (1.5 mile walk) in the cold late evenings,i always had this image of Rambo in my mind...Alone in a new place, walking in the cold with cars zipping past,almost no pedestrians in sight, and trying to pull tight my jacket collar to keep my neck warm...

Finally i came around to think about the reason for having Monday off here in US : Memorial Day, to commemorate the death of US soldiers. (Similar to Army Day in India on Jan 15th)

Went on to listen to songs related to soldiers n war like Como Estais Amigos (Iron Maiden , strong lyrics), Winds of Change (Scorpions), Buffalo Solider and lastly to the haunting song from We were soldiers

Lay me doon in the caul caul groon
Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun
Ains a year say a prayer faur me
Close yir een an remember me (Scottish Version,Translation in below video..)



What ever may be the reason for the war,where ever it may be,who ever may be fighting it, in all cases people at the either ends of the gun barrel have no personal enmity...They strengthen their hearts, and do what is required in the belief that all this blood shed is for the greater good.
So dont blame the hand that pulls the trigger in the battle field, but maybe blame the hand that sends them to the field.

All across the world, lets pay tribute to the soldiers, maybe walk up to one and say a big thanks for what they do for the country...hope none of them ever feel like our dear fictional John Rambo when they comeback from the battlefield to lead a normal life.

As Col.Jessup said in Few Good Men,

"You want me on that wall,you need me on that wall ! "



A big standing Salute to all Soldiers of this world !


(The Videos and songs listed here are what came to my mind while blogging this, and are not intended to mean any disrespect to any Soldier)

Perceptions : Miscellaneous incidents from life in San Deigo

Perceptions sometimes get changed in an instant and a few occupy a permanent place in a cozy corner of one's memory...

Helpful Lady @ the Airport -

I was waiting for my connecting flight to San Diego from Los Angles and it suddenly struck me that i still didn't know if anyone was coming to pick me up in San Diego. As i hadn't yet used dollars with me, i didn't have any coins for the pay phone. All around me were people hurrying about to catch their flights or busy minding their own business. I tried to make some eye contact in the hope of asking for some help but to no avail. As luck would have it, i couldn't see a Indian around . I wish i saw that proverbial Malayali who is supposed to be in all corners of the world.

So i decided to buy a burger and went to a nearby shop. I ordered the burger combo and asked for the balance in coins but the girl at the counter had only 1 quarter with her. Wondering what to do next as i slowly walked towards the soda machine and filled by glass (way too big for a new comer from India) with diet coke. As i was moving towards a vacant table, a lady dressed in boardroom formals with a sleek briefcase, a laptop bag and a big shiny leather overcoat called me from behind and asked if i was the one asking for quarters at the counter. When i told yes, she gave me 3 and hurried away...I made my first call later in San diego with those quarters...

Austin 3:16 @ Office -

It was my second day at office and since everyone here had individual rooms, the office corridor looked more like a hotel one to me, being more used to seeing at least 50 people in any direction if i stood up in my India office. As i was standing in front of a office map of room numbers trying to find the conference room i was supposed to be inside 10 minutes ago, i heard a booming voice from behind... "Are you trying to find someone ?"

I turned around to see a guy looking like Austin 3:16 (yep - dark Tee,blue denim shorts with frayed edges , shaved head and a french beard) who then patiently explained the 'route' i had to take to reach my conference room.

'Little Man' @ Vons :

I was on my way to a popular grocery store called Vons and was walking through the big and pretty much empty parking lot when i heard some one call out to me...I turned and looked around but didnt see anyone as it was dark. As i was about to continue my walk towards the store, i heard a loud "Over here" and saw someone waving to me from a dark corner of the parking lot. It turned out to be a guy leaning onto his sport car's door wearing a bandanna on his head with chains all around his neck. I could make out 3 of his friends in the dark close to him and mugging scenes from Hollywood movies flashed through my mind for a second.

The guy called out : "Little guy, do you have any smoke on you ?"

I replied no and walked on...

Among all the customers entering/leaving the Vons store that day, the 'Little man' had the biggest smile for being called so.


...We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are....
- Anais Nin


...

Persistence hunting : How our ancestors used to earn their 'Burgers'

...the 8 hr chase has come to an end...the hunter pays tribute to his quarry's courage and strength ; with ceremonial gestures that ensures that it's spirit returns to the desert sands which it came from..

... while it was alive he lived and breathed with it and felt its every movement in his own body...and at the movement of it's death he shared it's pains...

...He gives thanks to the life he has taken so that he may sustain the life of his family waiting for him...

Having seen Avatar in all its 3D glory in the theater some time back, I was seeing it yesterday on DVD by chance. The story as such is like a 70s Hindi movie but then its the whole colurful 3D package that the audience loved...Anyway while seeing the movie, specifically in the scene where the hero completes a successful hunt and thanks the animal for sharing its energy, a faint memory of seeing something similar in National Geography cropped up in my mind...some good old web search (yes it was google) brought me to what I was looking for...Persistence hunting.

To someone who had ordered Jake's special Cheese Burger for lunch, the video was a reality check and reminded how we take the daily food for granted...Philosophy about earning ones own food is good but not the topic I had in mind ...

Persistence hunting is a hunting style where the hunter chases down his prey till the end...its practiced by only one tribe in the whole world even now and the video is worth a watch...its a good one...of course as an icing, you have Sir David Attenborough narrating the scene for you...

Chennai Memories & favourite part of Polladavan Movie

After being away from Chennai for around a month, for the first time I thought for some time about my Chennai friends today...Actually I was seeing one of my most favorite portions of the Polladavan movie (guilty of the habit of watching specific scenes of movies repeatedly when bored ).

The scene has great comedy, superb background music, showcases the tensions of nonreciprocating love and comradeship (Disclaimer : YMMW).




Now i have watched this portion of the movie many many times...but today it brought back the memories of Chennai weekends...dont ask me why...maybe its because of hearing Tamil, or maybe becuase it was seeing friends spending time together...

We used to have a gang of 10/12 guys who used to meet on Fridays and Saturdays and do nothing except hang around and talk about anything and everything under the sun and after mid night, we would go to Gopal Chettans Tea Shop and have sizzling omelet and hot Tea..The talks would resume once we are back and continued many a time till the wee hours of the morning...




Times have changed and some of us have moved to other places but i am sure that every once in a while we all think about those weekends spend on top of terrace or on the wall overlooking the vast ground, laughing and pulling each other legs while waiting for the Kerala Barbaque 'in Velachery Style' getting ready...Well that's another post in itself...but later...not now... for tonight my dear friends, is dedicated to going through the photographs of those weekends...

There's a saying that revenge is dish that tastes best when its cold ... I think such a person just has to try the dish of nostalgia and i am sure he will be hooked for life

Its yet another normal workday coming to an end (its 10 past 12,so its over I guess) and apart from the fact that i slipped and fell twice in the bath tub in a span of 1 min (first one was accidental and then second when when I tried to reproduce the bug), I had one of the best dinners of my life...it was nothing special other than 3 room mates getting together and cooking a normal dinner with no special occasion to speak of.

If you have read my old blog on cooking, you would know I am not even a average cook. But as my roomate upon hearing my shaky confession (that i have never cooked a vegetarian dish ) told with a serious face on day one , " Once in US everyone learns to cook..."

Well today we cooked Rice,Alu fry and Shahi Panner and in a span of 3 weeks I have got hands on exp on the following items :

Alu fry
Shahi panner
Panner masala
Bhindi curry
Mix veg
Mushroom curry
Egg curry
Pasta
Chinese Noodles with soya sauce
The humble Rice & Dal (which is highly under rated when its freely available)
Veg biriyani
Gobi masala
Cabbage roast
and last but not the least , the daily ritualistic Masala Chai with ginger,cardamom and masala...

This blog started as a notepad list of the items I have cooked in such a short time and when I saw the number of things in it, I thought about blogging it.

For someone to whom cooking equated to chicken curry (made with no specific plan, other than adding all the masalas that one could lay hands on) its been a fun ride which just seems to be getting better each day...this may not be the case for the guys who have to eat up all this...a.k.a. my room mates...

PS : I do ensure there is milk and cereal in stock before I start cooking

....

America's Finest City is really Munnar with beaches

(Having been in US for only two weeks as i write this , and having not been to any place other than San Diego, i have no reference to validate the city's 'Finest City in America' tagline. But many friends who have worked in other states confirm its true and since this tag is very popular it must be true indeed.)

The climate in Munnar in and around summer consists of cold chilly winds along with bright sunlight where you feel cold in the shadows while love the warmth of the sun when in sunlight.San Diego has similar climate (at least in feb- march but its getting warmer now). Plus the city has great beaches, so for someone who lived in Munnar for 4 years, this place is a blessing compared to the more extreme temperatures of other states.


Lesson #1(in US) :
The first and most important thing you learn in the US is being independent in all aspects.

When i landed in San Diego airport and reached the entrance,there was hardly anyone around to be seen . I had four quarters (how i got them will be told in another post) with me so without reading the instructions on the payphone i put in the coins and dialed my new colleague's number whom i have never met till them. Needless to say i never saw those 2 quarters again and nor did i get my call connected ! Now stuck with just 2 quarters i dialed first, then put the coins, and was relieved to hear my colleague on the other side, who gave me the directions for the hotel which was to be my stay for a week.

Standing at the entrance of the airport with the cold chilly wind blowing fast and the sunlight vanishing behind the horizon among the gray clouds, i felt a bit alone...There was hardly anyone around at the entrance so i asked the security guard about the cab and then got one. I had noted only the address and not the name of the hotel so when my cab reached the address i was not sure if it was the correct place. Coming from a country where one is used to see std/isd booths at every nook and corner, the rarity of seeing a pay phone was a discomfort indeed when you dont have your own phone.


Lesson 2 : What you took for granted in India like payphones everywhere,cheap phone plans,cheap taxis,cheap and more importantly robust public transport connecting even the remote nooks and corners of the city were blessings indeed.


Lesson 3 : You seem to have lot of free time in your hands when your new to a city, but more so when your new to US.


Will keep posting about what i see around here and give my lessons learned gyan as i really feel the need for a outlet of my thoughts after coming here so God save any readers of this blog :-)

Music is what life Sounds like...

May it be the Mortal combat title song which takes me to my school days when 45 of us bunked school and went for the first day show,the day I felt my body wanting to break into weird dance steps on hearing Chikubuku raile (Gentleman) for the first time which also incidentally introduced me to Tamil music n AR Rahman, Hotel California (Eagles) which brings back misty evenings of Munnar college life into memory, Pachey Riramey (Alaipayuthey) which was the only song allowed to play in the hostel on the eve of the first semester Exams during Engineering(allowed only once every hour throughout the night)..., Har ghadi badal rahi hai (KHNH) while I was sitting on the wall of PWD hostel during the preparations for the last hostel day of their's and then the fact hit me that college life is over and everything around me started moving in slow motion for a while...songs have a way of stirring up old memories...


The below list of songs hold a special place in my heart and are related to particular phases of life. Whenever I hear them, each one brings back a distinct warm memory to my mind and a barely visible smile comes to my face for a second or so as i relive those old days for a few seconds...

Ore Nyabagam (Minnale) ;
Ente Ellaam (Meesha Madhavan) ;
O Hansini (Kishore Kumar) ;
Vaseegara (Minnale) ;
Fear of the Dark (Iron Maiden) ;

Most of such songs are the threads that instantly take us back to those memorable occasions and reminds us of those special faces and those golden old days when life was as carefree as one wanted it to be.I am sure you have your own big list of such songs too, so do take some time to go back to them...

Someone wise had once said Music is what Life sounds like...and i couldn't agree more...